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November 4, 2014

Everyone is created equal, sure, but the same can’t be said for interns. Our current batch told us so. They even called themselves the best we’ve had yet, though we’re not totally sure about that. To sit down and chat with our most recent Junior Blasters, a group interview seemed like the only course of action. (We did this partly to get better answers, but mostly since we just couldn’t get them to stop talking to one another.) After asking about clients, social media, and their love for Chipotle, we learned a few things: Fall ’14 isn’t lacking in the confidence department, that there may be such a thing as too much enthusiasm, and that Maddie must always get the first word in.

Brian Warner, a second semester Junior Blaster sat down with our weirdest group of interns yet to learn a little more about them. Pictured below from left to right is Maddie Allard (a loud and strange content creator intern), Roseanne Tabachnik (the cutest content creator intern ever), Jordan Schellinkhout (a second semester graphic designer that seems evil but is actually really nice), Sarah Falchuk (research intern who is basically Jess’ twin), Brian Warner (the quietest person on this planet and research intern), and Ashley Bauer (Maddie’s biggest threat in life and overall really nice content creator intern).


In 1-3 words, describe what you do here (without using your job title).

Maddie: Distracting through laughter.

Ashley: Type, chat, laugh.

Sarah: Number translator!

Roseanne: Social curator.

Jordan: Create.


Do you think the story of your life would be told in hashtags, Instagram photos, or Vines?

Maddie: Vines for sure. Except I don”t use Vine. Podcasts? People always ask me to do a podcast.

Jordan: It would definitely be a montage of Instagram photos. Although I”m sure a few hashtags would show up somewhere.


What would you title the life story for person to your right?

Jordan (for Roseanne): Can online casino it just be The Cutest Book Ever?

Maddie: Sarah’s would be, Who Me?

Sarah (for Jordan): The Graphic Designer’s Guide to Murder. It would be very visual.

Jordan: I could make a pretty sick infographic about that!


What is the one thing you would never do on social media?

Ashley: Facebook PDA and too many selfies.

Roseanne: Buy friends/ followers

Sarah: Bad mouth someone over social media.


On the flip side of that, what’s everyone’s biggest social media offense?

Maddie: Facebook stalking.

Roseanne: Also Facebook stalking.

Ashley: Instagram stalking and accidentally liking really old pictures.

– A lot of stalking going on here! –

Sarah: You know it”s bad when you start to recognize your friend”s cousin”s boyfriend”s profile pictures.


Which of our clients would you call to bail you out of jail, probably on stalking charges?

Roseanne: Reading Terminal Market, so at least I”d be well fed.

Sarah: They’d bail me out, and then console me with food.

Jordan: We could pay bail with Reading Terminal food. No one could turn that down


Another worst-case scenario question: zombie takeover. What Senior Blaster would have the best chance of surviving?

Roseanne: Lou.

Sarah: He’s active and he has Daisy to help sniff stuff out.

Ashley: I feel like Kurt would be really quick, and whip out ninja skills.


So if we were going to rebuild society after the zombie takeover, what Senior Blaster would be on the money?

Jordan: Me, because I’m awesome.

Ashley: Evan and Matt would because they’re the founding fathers.

Maddie: I don’t know, I think Matt would give himself seven votes.

Jordan: Matt would definitely be on it because he wouldn’t give anyone a choice.


Who has the most potential to become “hangry”? (Hangry – anger induced by extreme hunger.)

Maddie: Brian.

Jordan: It’s true. It’s definitely true.

Roseanne: I haven’t seen your hypothetical angry side yet.

Maddie: And then Roseanne looks at me like, “I have seen yours!”

Ashley: It’s all of us when we’re waiting for Jordan so we can go to Chipotle.


Has anyone created something/figured something out that made them want to play We Are the Champions?

Ashley: When I figured out that Chipotle was around the corner from ChatterBlast.

Maddie: Every day when I wake up.

Sarah: The first time I finished an in-depth report using Facebook ad analytics.


Which celebrity would you hire to inspire that same feeling?

Maddie: Cher, because have you ever seen her Twitter? It is like if you take me, and then go way up.

Jordan: I pick Ellen, because she’d probably give me free stuff. And she’s funny.

Roseanne: The Man Repeller, the style blogger. (She later changed to Lena Dunham)


Besides biking, cars, trains/buses, and walking, which mode of transportation would you most want to take to work?

Sarah: I would ride a horse. No– a pony.

Jordan: I want to ride an elephant.

Maddie: Roseanne and I actually flew here on our jetpacks. They’re locked outside.

Jordan: That’s going to get stolen; no one’s taking my elephant.


Brian Warner is ChatterBlast’s Research and Reporting Intern, writing his first blog post since joining in May.


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