Roamin’ Catholic

September 25, 2015

I don’t know if any of you guys have been reading the news or whatever, but the Pope is making his Holy-little-self over to the City of Brotherly Love this weekend to share his awe-inspiring Popeliness with us; making Philadelphia the most Pope-ular city in America right now (Are you folks as into the Pope puns as we are? Yeah? Great. Let’s move on).

We all know the Pope’s schedule (because it’s been posted and shoved down our throats for the past three months): he’s going to hold Mass, he’s gonna check out the Liberty Bell, he’ll do that whole Festival of Families thing and all sorts of pope-ly activities.

That’s all fun and stuff, but maybe Pope Francis would like to get away from the massive Catholic crowds and see what Philly is really about. We here at ChatterBlast will show you what the Pope will be up to during his off-hours.

Who’s to say that Frankie doesn’t love a good pun? That’s why Justin brought His Holiness to a South Philly favorite, Pub on Passyunk East, also known as POPE. I know! It’s perfect right? Perhaps the Pope would enjoy a fine Trappist beer if they’ve got it.


Without a doubt, the Pope is going to get hungry. And why shouldn’t he fight through the crowds to get his meal at Reading Terminal Market like the rest of us Philly folks? Where does he stand on the Iovine Bros produce vs the ‘whatever that other produce place is called’ battle? Is he going to get a cheesesteak and be cliché? Is he going to get a big cookie? Is he going to stop at that ridiculously delicious Beck’s Cajun place? These are important questions!


With all this nonsense going on in the Pope’s schedule, he’s gonna need a moment to relax. And there’s no more relaxing spot in Philly than Spruce Street Harbor Park. Have you ever looked out at the harbor, listened to the waves softly splash against the docks, taken a deep breath, and felt that all is well in the world? That’s why Nick brought him here! After speaking out about climate change, it’s important for Pope Francis to enjoy this green space while it’s still preserved and is important.


We all know the Pope (deep down in his Holy heart) loves us LGBT folks. That’s why Craig brought ol’ Frank down to the legendary Woody’s in the heart of the Gayborhood. Because maybe, just maybe, Frank would love to have a nice Cosmo and not be judged for it. #Lovewins.


Okay, so Jackie thought she’d be all cool and bring His Holiness to the Art Museum to get into some Philly culture (which is all well-intentioned and stuff), except he’s doing all the big Pope stuff RIGHT THERE AT THE ART MUSEUM! Geez, Jackie, why not plan ahead a little better!? He’s got a pretty big collection in his own home.

However… maybe the Pope would enjoy the glory of the Art Museum without all the crowds, without all the Rocky-impersonators, without all the media attention and religious folks demanding his attention. Maybe then he could find the serenity we all find when we gaze upon the works of art that hang in the walls of the Museum. Okay, maybe this was a pretty good thought, Jackie.

If you’re hanging out in Philly (and brave enough to swim through the sea of Catholics), we hope you get to see all these fantastic Philly spots that we hope (we know) Pope Francis would love to check out. But enough about us, where would you take the Pope if you had the chance? Totally comment with your thoughts and ideas. Personally, I’d like to hear His Holiness’s opinion on the whole Pats vs Genos debacle.


Have a Pope-tacular weekend, everybody!