Hey everyone, Gianna here. ChatterBlast’s very own lifestyle guru. I’ve talked about social media’s effect on relationships a few times in the past. (Specifically here, here, here and here.) But this time, I’m going to take a different approach. Ultimately, I’m going to take a situation that isn’t about me and make it about me. After all, who doesn’t want to read a blog about me? NOT ME.
As most of you may have heard, Hollywood relationship royalty Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan are getting a divorce. Similar to how another famous couple recently broke the news to fans about their split (Looking at you Gigi and Zayn), Chan and Jen released an elegant, heartfelt statement on Instagram explaining that they had a “magical journey” and “beautiful adventure” together but that they have “lovingly chosen to separate as a couple.” Vom. All I see in this statement are a bunch of fluff words that serve no purpose other than to blow smoke up everyone’s asses, including their own.
I’m not saying that they shouldn’t be ending things on good terms. But this awful method of the social media breakup has been making waves lately and I honestly don’t believe it to be effective. If it were me, I would handle things a lot differently and, well, better.
It’s Impersonal and Unrelatable
It’s already bad enough that it’s nearly impossible for celebrities to relate to their fans, especially on social media since most of us aren’t floating around on the French Riviera in the dead of winter with our supermodel friends. But when it comes to human characteristics, I think it’s pretty safe to say that we all experience the same types of emotions at least once in our lifetimes. When celebrity couples release statements like this, it is just another perfect facade they put on for the public. Breakups hurt. Heartbreak is really hard to deal with. I don’t care how many synonyms for “beautiful” or “loving” you use in your bogus social post. Famous or not, I don’t believe for one second that no one involved is grieving.
How I Would Handle It: Block them. Block them so hard they feel it in their soul. Block all of their friends, family, and acquaintances. Actually I’d just delete my entire account so I never have to be reminded that they exist.
There are Ulterior Motives
Social media is a PR person’s worst nightmare. Especially a celebrity PR person. Now that fans have the option to openly talk back and have the entire world see their response, the industry is even more dog eat dog than before. Even if the couple did end things amicably, that’s not the reason why these statements are being released. It’s because they want to get their “scripted” side heard before tabloids, news outlets and fans tear them to shreds by publishing their version of the truth. It’s not a bad strategy, but the reasoning definitely isn’t sincere.
How I Would Handle It: Hit up Perez Hilton and sell him the story for $30000 billion dollars. Then retweet the headline acting shocked at all of the animosity. How dare they!
Breakups Aren’t Anyone Else’s Business
I know this is a bit far-fetched since every aspect of a celebrity’s life is held under a microscope. But I firmly believe that something as personal as breakup shouldn’t be shared on a public platform to begin with. If two people breakup, they don’t owe anyone an explanation other than themselves. Of course, letting dedicated fans know about the situation is only right, but giving a full in-depth analysis of the relationship’s demise should not be a necessity.
How I Would Handle It: Post passive aggressive quotes across every social channel. Provide no explanation to what they mean and let the whole world wonder. When someone asks if I’m okay, I abruptly reply “I’m fine” and pray they stop talking to me.
Well that’s my take on the whole celebrity social media breakup statement. If you and you’re significant other do decide to breakup, please do everyone a favor and cause some digital drama. We’re bored. Well at least I am.