Mention Facebook today and someone will inevitably say, “Wait… people still use Facebook?”
It’s true, most of us aren’t creating new posts or uploading photo albums anymore (shoutout to the early 2000s). Instagram and TikTok have certainly dominated the last few years, but with constant ads for devices like Brick that block app use, it can feel like people are yearning for social media-free lifestyles.
But many of us are still logging on to Meta’s eldest for one big reason: Facebook groups. We’re looking for Buy Nothing grabs, keeping up with local neighbor drama, and sometimes helping to look for lost pets.
But the Facebook group that has roped me all the way in: PHILAQUEENS.
This group has become my favorite read, and has simultaneously proven to me that people aren’t abandoning social media platforms. They’re simply using social media in a way that feels meaningful through smaller, more trusted corners of the internet.
Welcome to PHILAQUEENS: The Internet’s Safe Space
PHILAQUEENS is a women-only, Philadelphia-based Facebook group of 88k+ members that’s been going for eight years strong (read about it from one of its founders here!). Unlike most profiles and public accounts, you won’t find the social media-perfect version of people’s lives here. You’ll find queens (read: members) celebrating each other’s greatest milestones, opening up about their deepest insecurities, and supporting each other in their most vulnerable moments.
For me, posts from this group have become unskippable for a few reasons:
- It’s refreshingly unfiltered: I feel like I’ve been adopted into a private group chat where we skip over the embarrassment and get straight to the point.
- People are actually honest: I might not always agree, but when queens ask for advice, they receive the most honest feedback.
- These women don’t miss: I have personally taken recommendations from this group for a new eye doctor and an auto body shop with great success (I’ve since recommended these places to others).
Imagine subreddits, Yelp, and your bestie group chat all rolled into one. It’s a one-stop shop. Not to mention, some of the posts are very entertaining.
A Day in the Life of a PHILAQUEEN
Posts in PHILAQUEENS cover everything from personal advice and friend-finding to referrals and recommendations. People aren’t searching for information, they’re searching for lived experience they can trust and relate to. Google can tell you where to find a dermatologist, but PHILAQUEENS tells you which one actually listened.
And sure, you could ask your IRL friends, but there’s a reason people still turn to 10-year-old Reddit posts for advice: sometimes strangers feel safer than friends. For PHILAQUEENS, now that members can choose to post anonymously, there are countless posts that start with something like: “Posting anonymously because my friends are in here…”
It amazes me that people feel safe enough in this group to share things they aren’t ready to share (at least yet) with their closest circles. Oversharing doesn’t exist here. Members often post about very personal things that social norms don’t always give us space to talk about. Instead of being met with shock or ridicule, these topics are met with understanding and support that is hard to find.
What Your Feed’s Been Missing
Facebook groups exist based on commonality and need. Before they even interact, members know they’re among people like them, at least in some ways. That, accompanied by the fact that the group is mediated by admins, makes it easier and more comfortable to engage. Whether that means posting regularly or simply taking it all in, engagement can go deeper than it does in social media spaces where it feels like the whole world is watching.
That local connection is part of what makes PHILAQUEENS feel different. The internet might bring 88,000 strangers into the same group, but Philadelphia gives them something tangible in common. The community doesn’t end when you close Facebook; its advice, recommendations and acts of kindness regularly make their way into real life.
(And these women mobilize. Neighbors might not knock on each other’s doors to borrow a cup of sugar anymore, but a PHILAQUEEN will probably help find the wallet you lost on the street.)
Maybe that’s why people aren’t abandoning social media as much as it sometimes seems. We’re just getting choosier about where—and with whom—we spend our time online. The massive public feed might have lost some of its appeal, but smaller, trusted communities still give us a reason to log on.
For everything we know about the dark side of social media, groups like PHILAQUEENS are a reminder of what these platforms were supposed to do in the first place: help people find each other. Facebook is a comeback success story for remembering what community can be.
